Bringing Home The Bacon

After reading between the lines and taking a parting shot, we all lived happily ever after, knowing that all is well that ends well.

After I shot myself in the foot I was totally in my element but she got my goat so I started from scratch and went back to square one navigating by dead reckoning though I was sick as a dog swimming in a fine kettle of fish while skewered on the horns of a dilemma. I threw in everything but the kitchen sink and feeling like a fish out of water, I finally got my ducks in a row and found lightning in a bottle, though it cost me an arm and a leg and gave me a new lease on life. Knowing that a friend in need is a friend indeed, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop when I noticed that she was talking out of both sides of her mouth, so I opened up a whole new can of worms and found brand spanking new pearls of wisdom in my duck soup, hoping that too many cooks wouldn’t spoil the broth. We threw in little of this and a little of that, knowing that a spoon full of sugar would help the medicine go down. She was a chip off the old block and a dead ringer for my long lost lover who was the apple of my eye. 

A Fine Kettle of Fish • William Chase Merrit

Ducks in a Row • Photo by MMB

I was living in a fool’s paradise up on cloud nine, flying on a wing and a prayer, soaring with the birds and the bees while it was raining cats and dogs as we watched the dog and pony show starring the big cheese who came on like a bull in a china shop. Come Hell or high water the whole ball of wax was Greek to me, so at her beck and call we finally got down to brass tacks which was a real shot in the arm. Feeling mad as a hatter I brought home the bacon by the skin of my teeth while pushing the envelope the whole nine yards before throwing in the towel. 

The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

The Carrot and The Stick

If a man’s home is his castle, then ours was a labor of love in a fool’s paradise. In the hue and cry that followed she stole my thunder while crying crocodile tears as I grabbed for the carrot and stick to beat the band. It all begged the question: Is it really not over until the fat lady sings, Bob’s your uncle and you knock on wood? If I told you the answer, I’d have to kill you. 

Raining Cats and dogs

The Famous Dog and Pony Show

My thoughts and prayers would be with you, hoping that you would pass peacefully surrounded by your family, your partners and your team members in a leafy suburb after you enacted the Marshall plan and put a man on the moon and I would have to then say, let me ask you this; “How’s your day going so far with that circular firing squad? Did you follow your passion and finally discover your secret sauce or are you still stuck in the same old, same old, eating the low hanging fruit as you ride a white elephant and untangle a riddle wrapped up in an enigma?

Riding the Royal White Elephant

Now please, please; don’t panic, give it your all, follow your heart, get with the program, live long and prosper, find your happy place and call your mother, because charity begins at home!

The Mother and Child Reunion • Wilhelm Gottfried Bauer